Thursday, May 31, 2012

Life: God works all things for good!

This I drew during everything...
A few years ago, my family was asked to leave our church... We had been there for 4 years, the pastors family was like family to us. There were rumors spread and lies told to the pastor by people in the church. The pastor believed it and on Saturday afternoon, (after having a meeting with the deacons in secret) told my parents not to come back on Sunday morning. The whole church was told later that we had decided to leave on our own. The worst part was that we were not allowed to say good bye to the pastors children, because the pastor believed we would still be "friends". That hurt the most because I considered them as my brothers and sisters. Anyway, during this, someone else working with Satan was also at work in deceiving people. Someone was sending letters from my family and from theirs that none of us ever wrote or sent. This only made things worse... It made it to the point where my family wasn't permitted to see any of the pastors family... The pastor had received a fake email from my dad saying that if he(pastor) ever came near my family or talked to them he, my dad knew where he lived... etc. Pretty much the letter was threatening his family.... Now my dad never wrote this email.... my dad just received the response from it... My family also received another letter from them... As you can see, it was a big mess, with many people hurt, not just us, but people in the church who didn't know what to believe... Pretty much... Satan had fun trying to pull us all away from Christ.. but that didn't work!

Recently, the pastor texted my sister and apologized to her (she was the one slandered the most). He told her she could come back to the church anytime.... Pretty much for her.... its gone back to the way things were before everything happened.  While in FL, I got to visit with some of the pastors family and we kind of become friends again. It was weird..... I remembered all the hurt and all the promises I had made my younger "brothers and sisters". It made it hurt really bad... When I got back from FL, I had a total meltdown. I was scared... and reliving all the hurt again... This made me realize something, I never fully forgave them.

I say this to explain what I am going to say next...

Sometimes.... We have to be hurt by others, and to reach bottom so that we realize God is Lord over all..... When things happened back then... I remember spending days.. crying, reading the bible and writing in my journal... I didn't understand "Why" God was doing this... I mean, why would he let people betray me and stab me in the back?? Why Why Why???

During that time... I had one thing to hold on to: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28NIV

This means, what I go through... God is working for good... not evil...

After this, I met some amazing people at our "new" church who I now call family... They taught me... and I learned from them... They loved me... and that's what truly mattered... However, I learned one thing through all this...: One has to trust God... not matter what! You have to trust him, to allow others to hurt you.... He is in control of everything... I mean when I think back to everything that happened..... I learned so much about God and trusting Him through that time, than i think I had in all of my life.I learned to love, even though I might get hurt.. to trust others even though they may stab me in the back.... I learned that he will be there and will never forsake me... That it doesn't matter what others think or say... all that matters is Jesus... I learned to trust Him with everything (This can still be hard at times)...

Bottom line: He used the hurt and the pain, to make me more like him... 

When you are in the middle of a storm... its hard to see the light... but after the storm... comes the rainbow and you realize why.... 

He is still using that experience to make me more like him... When I realized i still hadn't forgiven.. it caused me to repent...

He truly is an amazing God, who works all things to good, for those who love Him!

Think for yourself:
If you love God, no matter whats going on, or has happened in the past... He is working it for good... 


P.S. I hope this encourages you!

There is this hurt deep down inside,
I do not want to let it outside
It has been there for a while,
So it has begun to pile
When will I finally let it go?,
When will I finally say no?
When will it stop festering?,
When will it stop pestering?
I try and try to let it out,
but nothing really comes about
I know that there is one who can,
He is there telling me he can
Why don’t I just give it all?,
So that the pile doesn’t fall
Give it to me he says,
But what if it stays?
Even if I give it away,
Will it really go away?
I know deep down inside it will,
Go away and not be here still
Yet I keep it locked away,
To fall down on me one day
Now I think the time has come,
I've decided that I'm done
I give it all to Him,,
The one who has no sin
Who will take it all away,
And none of it will stay
It will be gone forever,
Because he heals forever
Why He loves me I don’t know,
when I tell him please go
Yet he stays here by my side,
I know He'll be here till I die
I give Him all that is within me,
All that I am, was and will be
It now belongs to Him,
And I know I can trust Him
To take care of me and love me,
Because He was and is and will be,
My Lord, my Savior and my God.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Student Teaching

So for my student teaching, I was hoping to work with students K-2nd.... However, I have 4th grade. Last fall I worked in special education, with 4th-8th graders... I really liked the fourth graders.. but I still prefer kindergarteners. Anyway m my thy goal is to put my thoughts about this experience on here, starting around August 27th....

Here's what I know as of right now:
      I will be expected to create and teach 2-3 unit plans(plus various other assignments). I will also be required to have at least 6 of my 10-16weeks in the classroom, be full time teaching experience; meaning I control and teach all lesson and do everything in the classroom. Starting week one I will get to know the school and students (I have to meet with the teacher beforehand). Week 2 I will begin to slowly take over subject areas one at a time until I have finally taken them all over and keep them for at least 6 weeks. After this I will slowly give each subject area back to the teacher.
       During this time I will also be taking 2 classes: Senior Seminar and Curriculum for Teaching Students with Severe Disabilities. This means I will be taking a total of 15credit hours... This would be no big deal because I have taken 15 credits most of my college experience; However, 10 of those hours are considered "Student Teaching". The problem is that I have to be in the classroom/school the entire time the teacher is required to be there Monday thru Friday... This means working from 7am-4:30pm. That's more than 9hrs a day making it  around 50hrs a week in the classroom, not including the time I have to take to complete "extra" assignments for that class as well as do whatever homework is required for my other classes.    Plus making dinner, spending time with the hubby and taking care of our multiple pets.

I am already starting to stress and its not even here yet... All I can think is "Can December 15th get here already??"

"I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...." Ever read the book/seen the movie "The Little Engine that Could"?
(If you havent.. Read the book! LOL!)

Anyway, I am so happy I have Jesus on my side! He will get me through this, so I shouldn't be saying "I think I can" I should be saying "With Him I can". :D

Have a Super De Doooper Tuesday!

Monday, May 28, 2012

New Look/Sorry Everyone!

So... I haven't blogged since April..... WOW! A lot has happened/changed since then.

Since I last blogged:
1. Mikel's Parents came to visit us. We had a great time together, went to the grand canyon, the zoo and just were plain lazy tourists. LOL!

Carol (Mom), Mikel, Me, Carl (Dad)

2. I survived Finals week made: 3 A's and one B.

3. Mikel and I went back to FL for a trip. We had a great time in FL! We went to the Heidi and Jerold's Wedding, my mom's graduation (So proud of her!), the beach and spent much time with friends and family. :)
Me, Mommy, & Grammy

Me, Heidi, Jerold, Mikel

4. Summer classes started for me about 3 weeks ago. I only have one class so hopefully I will keep up with my blogging better. My hubby also started one of his last 3 classes for his Associate of Science. :D

5. I got my placement for Student Teaching (aka my teaching internship). I will be working with 4th graders in a school 15min away from where we live.

6. Mikel, my husband, got switched to mid-shift aka night shift. He now goes into work between midnight and 2am each night/morning (Whatever you want to call it). Tonight he goes into work at 1am... Just 2hrs from now.

7. We adopted a Chinese Water Dragon. They get to be 3 feet long. Right now our lil guy "Toothless" is about 6 inches long.

Well, there's my update. I am sorry I never finished the A to Z challenge. Things got crazy and I got behind and then it got to the point of that there was no way to catch it back up.... :/